The Staggering, Exhausting, Invisible Costs of Caring
“As a society, we are living so much longer, and the diseases and conditions we live with require so much more: more care, more medicine, more vigilance, more maintenance.” “It’s brutal, it’s tearing my family apart, it makes me resent everyone, including the people for whom I’m providing care.” “We can’t have a strong economy if we have millions of people working as full-time caregivers and making so little that they are still living in poverty,” [said] Secretary of Commerce Gina Raimondo. “We can’t have a strong economy when we have millions of other people dropping out of the work force to take care of elderly loved ones.”
Thank you, ASA, for including this piece in Generations SmartBrief
Amyloid Deposits in Eyes—Alzheimer’s Disease Risk.
Like the proverbial “windows to the soul,” researchers at the University of California San Diego School of Medicine observed that the presence of retinal spots in the eyes correlated with brain scans showing higher levels of cerebral amyloid. The finding suggests that non-invasive retinal imaging may be useful as a biomarker for detecting early-stage Alzheimer’s Disease risk.
Your Job Is NOT Your Family
Your job is your paycheck. “Would your family toss you out on the street during one economic downturn? Work has failed us… [it] was one aspect of [our] life, not the whole of it. Not our identity.” “… we need to stop buying into the big lie… [that our] job will make [us] whole & complete” “You have family, friends, hobbies, passions, a life outside of the office… ” “Don’t beat yourself up because you have to take a job to pay the bills because you don’t have the luxury or privilege of following every fleeting passion. There’s nobility in providing for your family. There’s nobility in having a job that leaves you enough time to pursue other aspects of your life that bear more meaning.”
Is Being Too Comfortable Killing Your Happiness?
A man with a PhD who goes simply by “Thomas of Copenhagen” wrote a powerful article of the irony of happiness (which leads to sadness and depression) when we no longer have to work hard for the things people need, like healthcare and an education. In loss, we value life. “… there is a sickness in health, but there is also health in sickness. When we’re sick, we have the healthiest mentality of all because our priorities are at their highest.” [What Life in Otherwise Happy Denmark Can Teach Us About Depression | The Mighty]
The Myth of Happiness
UK-based psychologist, Dr. Sue Roffey, “has dispelled some of the common misconceptions about what it takes to be happy, and how to enhance your wellbeing by harnessing positive thinking and relationships.” It’s not about money; although a baseline of money helps. It’s more about communication and support in relationships.
Why You Shouldn’t Skip Exercise After 60
“… if you’d like to bolster your brain’s protections against dementia… a consistent exercise schedule benefits the brain just as much as the body.” Exercise helps the hippocampus, usually the first part of the brain Alzheimer’s disease attacks, to form and maintain new neurons. Exercise is a better preventative measure than a prescription.
Hello Brenda,
I thought back to the time I was caring for my Marie when I saw the article on caregiving costs.
I have no regrets for all I did to make Marie comfortable. Thankfully, she and I took out a policy with State Farm years before her trip to heaven. The additional expenses we had were very high. I estimated that I spent about $78,000 on things that were necessary for her safety and well-being.
I did get some help from the VA as Marie was a SP5 US Army, Medical Specialist. The VA is very hard to obtain help from but be determined and you can get some. One Project Manager in Richmond, VA gave me a hard time about everything. When she was relieved of having any part with home health, I was called by the incoming manager who had reviewed my file and approved items for support in the bathroom.
The expenses climbed frequently near the end and I had to take a disbursement from my IRA ($60,000) which of course was taxed highly. I paid $14,000 in Federal Tax that year and $4,000 in state Taxes.
Hard to believe in 10 days it will be 7 years since I lost her.
God has sent me Rosemarie who is a former HM2, Navy Corpsman. She has been a blessing to me. Marie and I were married for over 50 years. It’s very hard starting over at 73 but we have done it.
I really appreciate all the support you and Gary LeBlanc have given me. Caregivers should read your books as well as Gary’s, Aftereffects of Caregiving. I saw a lot of what I questioned, addressed in that book. Your STUFFology 101 helped me in straightening out the house.