Caregivers are reminded to take time off. Caregiver respites make all the difference in the world – from an afternoon off to an extended weekend or even a week or more.
Below is an overview of some of the things you might consider doing during a caregiver respite. Although I still work long days 6-7 days a week just like I did while a caregiver, I needed a break. I worked even harder to get everything in place before taking nine days off to visit the Midwest.
It takes time to plan and that’s why we don’t take enough breaks. But the change of pace is worth it. So are the memories we created with family, Godchildren, caregivers, and friends.
Hubby’s and my three-state excursion began with a night flight out of Los Angeles to Minneapolis. A melatonin, nap at the airport, and then on the plane, helped keep me going the next day. Adrenaline helped, too. Hover over images to read descriptions.
Visit with Family Caregiver and Caregiving Professional
We rented a car at the airport and met caregiver Sheri Zschocher and her hubby, Bob for breakfast. Although, I met Sheri a few years earlier, this is the first time I met Bob, who lives with Alzheimer’s. He and my hubby, David, talked until “Al” (as Sheri refers to Bob’s Alzheimer’s) made an appearance. A
s “Al” made Bob fidgety, our visit drew to a close but not before Sheri showed me a picture of Bob’s surprising one-day wood carving of a ladybug. (The task was supposed to keep him occupied for a week!)
We drove an hour and a half east and took a break at River Bend Winery in Chippewa Falls. After tasting a handful of wines, we bought bottles to give as gifts before driving another two hours to Linda’s cabin. Linda Schmidt is the Director of Marketing/Admissions at Bell Tower Residence and a former client. Working in the field of caregiving, it’s easy to build relationships that move beyond professional relationships. In the north woods of Wisconsin next to a picturesque lake, I met her husband who happens to be a jaw-dropping image of former President Clinton.
Visit with Family before it’s Too Late
Years ago, families lived close together. Today, we’re spread so far apart we often don’t see one another. Sometimes, it’s too late. 
How fortunate that David’s aunt and uncle were in town so we could visit them. Close to the upper peninsula of Michigan, we enjoyed a beautiful sunset on their lake. We shared memories and laughed while looking at old family photos after dinner and then headed south the following morning.
After a five-hour drive, we checked into the Country Inn in Milwaukee while visiting David’s brother, sister-in-law, our friends and fast-maturing niece, nephews, and Godchildren.
Girl’s Time Out
While hubby took his niece out for breakfast – a tradition they’ve had for years – I drove north to Cedarburg to spend “girl-time” with my long-time college friend and mother of our Godsons. I shot two Facebook Live videos of Marva making healthy smoothies before she poured them in canning jars to take along after our hike at the bluffs below Concordia University. We enjoyed some barefoot sand and water therapy along the shoreline before climbing the steps to savor our healthy and tasty smoothies.
Visit Our Growing Godsons
Years ago, Marva wondered how the boys would turn out given her choices to home-school, make meals from scratch, and more. I told her the years would unveil the truth. The “boys” are now men in their 20s and 30s. I am proud of them. Four of the five, were able to join us while one is in Colorado working on his PhD in chemistry. We even brought our niece and nephews. After all the FUN we had, I regret I didn’t take a single picture. I can’t believe it!
Pizza with a Long-time Friend
Special people come into your life and change it for the better. Jim and I met while he was a student in one of my classes at the University of Wisconsin – Milwaukee. Since 1980, we’ve kept in touch. I credit Jim with changing my view of the world. This time, the teacher learns.
Family FUN with Cousins in Chicago
With a day and a half left of our vacation, we drove down to Chicago for FUN family time with my cousins. David and I visited the Terra Cotta Warrior Exhibit at the Field Museum, followed by dinner with my cousins and an overnight stay in cousin Stephanie’s lakefront condo. 
The following morning, we walked to the Willis (formerly Sears) Tower to visit the 103rd floor Sky deck glass ledge. 
Before driving in heavy traffic to O’Hare for the flight home, I enjoyed a delicious Chicago deep dish pizza for my birthday. YUM!
Take a step back from the daily routine. There’s never enough time to do everything or meet with everyone. Vacations are about a change of pace, enjoying time with others, and a little adventure. Recreate and replenish to return home refreshed and restored.
In British Columbia, in Canada, “caregiver burnout” has been recognized as a serious issue… are the stats similar where you are, I wonder?
According to a September 2015 report by the Seniors Advocate of British Columbia, nearly a third of unpaid family caregivers are stressed out to the point of breakdown due to serious gaps in seniors respite programs.
The BC Senior’s Advocate also reports that:
> Twenty-nine per cent of caregivers are in distress.
> Unpaid caregivers provide 19 hours of care per week on average. caregivers in distress report providing as many as 30 hours of care per week.
> Fifty-four per cent of caregivers would benefit from respite services, however few are accessing the help.
When we think about conditions like Alzheimer’s Disease, we think about the impact it will have on patient’s. It is undeniable there is a dramatic impact on the patient, but also their “Family Unit” whether this is biological or just the friends who have come to support you. What I enjoyed about your blog is the focus on the caregiver – something that I think traditional medicine seems to avoid.
Creativity in whatever form you find appealing (Music, art, dance) provides an avenue to express inner thoughts. Support groups to “Bounce Ideas” off are fantastic of course, but I wonder if you and your readers think more should be invested in helping the caregiver cope with the creative arts?
So many programs are in place for the patients, including museum programs (Ex. MoMA) and there is an undeniable effect on the patient, but should be focus on the caregiver also?
Andrew, good point about the arts.
YES.
It’s all about what appeals to caregivers on respite.
It’s hard enough getting caregivers to take a respite.
Once caregivers are persuaded to take a respite, the arts provide another wonderful change of pace.
Thank you for suggesting this.
Have you done work in this area?
If so, can you share a brief example?
100% agree with finding what appeals to the individual, and the difficulties in getting caregivers to accept respite! I have been privileged to work with many individuals at “end of life”, from cancer through to dementia. I have seen first hand the power utilizing the arts for creative expression has had on the individuals afflicted with these conditions, and the family members often standing in the background emotionally defeated. This has made me wonder about ways to get the family members involved, to help them decompress emotionally away from the caregiving role? Perhaps for some this could be in the form of creative-arts support groups?
Certainly, this is one option, Andrew.
Thank you for following up with your experience.
Brenda I can only say your advice is something I wish I had been aware of when I was caring for my beloved Marie. I could not drag myself away from the house for more then two hours at the most.
OF the ten years I was a caregiver, I would not trade them for anything. It’s been almost two years since I lost my mate of 50 years and it just gets harder each moment that passes by wondering why God? Why my Marie? She was such a lovable, pleasant person, wonderful mother wife and lover. I will never understand why I had to lose her at such a young age of 73. I should have placed more trust in Juanita and Staci. Although I thought I did, if I had done more my physical condition would not have gone down hill as it did.
So, I hope your listeners will try their best to follow your advice. You have my postition to share anything I share with you and your site. I will never forget how nervous I was in doing the online interview with you and Gary. You two sparked my day that day.
Thank you, Don. Words like yours keep me going even when time runs out as the demands rise.
Thank you again… and for your permission to share your remarks.