A self-effacing author pays respect to her mother who defied convention.
In 2011, author Tinky Weisblat began a one-year quest to journal her experiences caring for her 92-year old mother Jan (Taffy) Weisblat who was living with dementia. She includes photos and recipes throughout Pulling Taffy – A year with dementia and other adventures.
By the end of the year, both she and her mother conclude their respective journeys leaving the reader with a sense of loss after feeling a part of their family for the duration.
In 1945, Taffy, a Christian, married Abe Weisblat, a Jew, after their parents suggested they remain engaged for a year before entering a “mixed marriage.” Their marriage lasted until Abe’s passing–53 years.
Taffy was a strong-willed woman just over 5-feet tall who left a major impact on her son and daughter and primary caregiver, Tinky. College-educated, Taffy’s independent spirit helped her work around the world with her husband.
Despite author Tinky’s self-effacing humor, she is a woman of letters going on to receive several graduate degrees. Still, she enjoys singing and cooking. In fact, reader beware, Pulling Taffy can be fattening with tantalizing recipes like Ghost Cookies, Irish Cottage Soda Bread, and Spinach and Artichoke dip.
Tinky didn’t expect to be a caregiver, initially. Like so many caregivers, she grew into a role, which wasn’t easy at first. She discovers:
I began by writing about what I was losing. Somewhere along the line I started writing about what I was finding…a burden was transformed into a privilege.
With this discovery, Tinky and her mom overcame the challenges with periods of FUN—enjoying nature, cooking together, playing the piano and singing together, reciting poetry, and enjoying the company of visitors.
Tears of frustration turned into tears of tenderness.
Pulling Taffy is truly an enjoyable read, which made this reviewer smile a lot. Tinky’s conversational style and self-effacing humor is a welcome counterweight to the strength of her late mother.
As promised, here are my most recent TV food demos–for World Alzhemer’s month!
[10/27/2017 Two links below no longer available at the WWLP.com news site TCV Ed.]
Salad: …/mass-appeal/broccoli-and-apple-salad
Dessert: …/mass-appeal/apple-crumble
Enjoy…….
Yaaay, Tinky. Thanks! I hope our visitors join me in trying out your crumble (with maple syrup–haven’t tried this) and a salad now through the fall season when apple season is at its peak.
Sooner or later (sooner, it seems) we’re all faced with parents in decline. No other caregiving situation is fraught with quite the dynamics of the parent/child role reversal. But this book isn’t about Alzheimer’s per se, it’s about one human being becoming the guide for another’s important journey at the end of their lifetime. Surely anyone caring for another would find hope, inspiration and brilliant ideas in Tinky’s book – I know I did. Her words of advice were useful recently as we transferred a parent from independent to assisted living. Tinky’s perspective and empathy were needed reminders that we were overseeing a major life change for someone whose journey is scarcely over: that reminder insures that the dignity of the parent patient is honored, and it gave us the calming to recognize that this time could actually be quite joy-filled, and that a life can always be full, right up until the last moment. Jan (Taffy) was fortunate to be able to live her life completely as she’d wished. That her daughter wrote a charming and accessible book (and a useful book, too) about the experience is something for which readers can be grateful – that she cared for her mother as she did is an even greater accomplishment, and proof that life is not only filled with surprises, but a bounty of rewards. Lucky Jan, lucky readers.
I purchased a half dozen copies to distribute to friends who are, to varying degrees, approaching the responsibilities that Tinky handled so well. That said, the book is an equally compelling read for others, if only as reminder that we all have the capacity and responsibility to care. Disclaimer: I know Tinky, and I knew Jan – and Tinky, though we know you as The Diva and flamboyant local celebrity, you do have self-effacing moments, too. Read your own book – you’ll see!
Sounds like a wonderful book, I will definitely have to check it out!
No one has ever called me self effacing before, Brenda. I think I like it! Thanks for the lovely review.
Tinky, that is the wonderful gift of being reviewed…when others see you in ways you have not yet seen yourself.
Your style drew me in and I felt part of your family. I was smiling throughout Pulling Taffy.
I did watch your video making rhubarb crisp and you are vivacious and entertaining.