In this guest article by Ed Han, Co-founder of A Final Message, we are reminded of the importance of letting our loved ones know about matters we often keep private until we’re gone and they’re scrambling trying to put the pieces together. Having a will, trust, or life insurance are not enough if our loved ones are unaware of them or who to contact.
Earlier this year, the afternoon before an injury-driven surgery, I sat at my kitchen counter staring at my laptop. I was home alone, and our dog was watching me with quiet curiosity. While I was nervous of the surgery itself, I was more afraid of what would happen if I didn’t wake up from it.
So, I started writing.
One message for my wife. Another for my daughter away at college and son, who was still in high school. One for mom, sister, and other family members. Even Ollie. Yes, a note written to the dog looking up at me, thanking him for his friendship and for making every day better just by existing.
Each note written in Google Docs contained something different: gratitude, a bit of humor, the kind of advice dads only think to give when they realize time is fragile. All done with a creative plan in mind; I scheduled a “delay send” email to my wife with the links to the letters to distribute. Just in case.
Thankfully, the surgery went as expected, I woke up and after shaking off my grogginess, I was able to cancel the email.
But that process made me wonder if others have similar worries. There was no simple way to share what truly mattered if something unexpected happened. No organized way to leave love, context, and clarity behind. Just scattered thoughts, buried files, and a hope that somehow my family would figure it all out.
A Bigger Problem Than I Ever Imagined
That vulnerable experience led me to research what happens when people don’t leave clear guidance. What I found stunned me.
In the US, over $70 billion in assets go unclaimed every year.
Matured savings bonds, small retirement accounts, life insurance policies no one knew existed. Safe deposit boxes never communicated to family members. Pet care guidance, family recipes, heirlooms.
These weren’t wealthy estates, just everyday folks who didn’t realize that when they passed, no one else knew where anything was. Their families, already grieving, were left piecing together a financial puzzle of missing parts and hours of frustration.
But the real heartbreak wasn’t the money. It was what I started hearing from widows, widowers, and adult children:
“I would have given anything just to read one last message.”
“I spent months trying to figure out what Mom wanted.”
“We didn’t even know where to start.”
Loss is hard enough. Confusion makes it unbearable.
Letters that Bring Comfort and Clarity
It isn’t just about closure; it’s about comfort. It’s about the sound of a familiar voice after the worst day imaginable. It’s also about knowing your loved one cared enough to leave behind clarity, who to call, what to do, where to start.
That combination of heart and guidance became the seed for afinalmessage.com.
I wanted to build a place where people could store not their passwords or account numbers, but something far more meaningful:
- Their words.
- Their gratitude.
- Their love.
- A simple roadmap for who to contact when life suddenly stops being simple.
No spreadsheets with logins, no estate-planning legalese. Just names, email, phone numbers and a secure vault of messages that mean everything when nothing else makes sense.
What A Final Message Is and Isn’t
When people first hear about the idea, they sometimes assume it’s another estate-planning tool or password manager. It’s not.
A Final Message isn’t where you store your financial details. It’s where you point to the people who know them.
Our users create a digital vault that holds:
- Final messages and love letters
- Lists of key contacts (financial advisor, executor, accountant, attorney, pet sitter, even best friend) and their email and phone number, nothing more
That’s it. Simple, low-risk but deeply human.
Though we use military-grade encryption and zero-knowledge security, the reality is, no hacker wants your love letters or Aunt Susan’s email. The information is valuable only to the people you love.
A Family Business, Literally
When we created A Final Message, it wasn’t just me.
My wife contributed her instinct for warmth and empathy to every design choice, while our son (now a college freshman) offered the next generation’s perspective.
We made some early promises:
We’ll never raise outside capital.
We’ll keep it private.
We’ll grow deliberately: centered on one mission, helping families stay connected when it matters most.
We’d Love Your Thoughts
Only a few months in, we’re eager to understand who values this service enough to begin.
Is it caregivers and social workers racing against dementia, guiding people toward peace and preparedness?
Widows and widowers navigating life alone?
Single adults or divorced parents without a partner as backup?
We don’t know yet and that curiosity drives us every day.
The Hardest Part: We All Procrastinate
Nobody likes thinking about the end. We assume we’ll get to it later: next month, next year, when life slows down.
But life rarely sends you a sign that’s it time.
That’s why, every year, billions of dollars go unclaimed and families are left sifting through drawers, guessing passwords, replaying voicemails just to hear a voice again.
It doesn’t have to be that way.
Creating a simple record of what matters (a few love letters, a list of who to call) can take just minutes. And it can save hundreds of hours, thousands of dollars, and immeasurable heartache.
That’s what A Final Message exists to do: to bridge the gap between love and logistics, between grief and guidance.
A Small Act that Lasts Forever
The night I canceled those scheduled emails, I remember feeling two things: relief that I was okay and peace knowing that, if I hadn’t been, the people I love most would have known how much I cared.
That’s the comfort we want others to have. We can’t control when life surprises us, but we can control how prepared we leave the people who matter.
A Final Message: If you’ve ever thought, I’ll get around to it someday, here is your nudge. Because tomorrow is never guaranteed, but peace of mind is. Need ideas on who to write letters to, what to say, and important contacts to think about? Find lists and templates at afinalmessage.com/helpful-resources.html.
For another look at not procrastinating and acting now, read:
- Act Now Caregiver; Waiting will Cause You Greater Pain
- Say It! Say What Bothers You and Let Go of Mental Clutter (This is truer now than ever before!)
