Caregiver, Linda Bauters, inspires with memories of her dad—the opening act for famous acts in Las Vegas and his humorous and gracious closing acts living with many health complications including dementia and Parkinson’s disease.
My
dad, Phil, was a skilled musician, playing the accordion professionally starting at the age of seven. During the 1950s he played as “Phil Gard” in Las Vegas. His band was the opening act for Sammy Davis, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Tony Bennett, Ella Fitzgerald, and many other celebrities. My dad had a natural talent and was passionate about playing.
After years of playing in Las Vegas, Phil returned home to help with the family grocery specialty meat business, “The Meat Center.” He attended meat-cutting school to become a butcher. Afterward, he became an owner with his father and brother. Although his hands and fingers played less music, the best outcome was that he met and married my mom. My dad continued playing the accordion at parties and family events. The family business thrived for many years. Unfortunately, they closed for safety reasons due to robberies.
My dad stayed strong from years of holding the accordion, lifting sides of beef, and taking on projects requiring physical labor. Dad learned plumbing, electrical, carpentry, and handyman tasks from his dad. Along with these talents he had a remarkable knack with numbers. For someone who completed school through 10th grade, his mind was incredible.
The multitude of health issues he had—heart, borderline diabetes, melanoma, and bullous pemphigoid (a rare skin disease), were somewhat manageable. In addition, he was diagnosed with Parkinson disease (PD) in his early 60s. Along with debilitating Parkinson’s, came dementia, falls, and swallowing difficulties.
I do not know how Dad persevered. The caregivers and I compared notes about his day. He needed more assistance as time went on with all the mounting issues.
My dad was not formally diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), but these tendencies intensified as his Parkinson’s symptoms and dementia progressed. Safety was an issue. For someone who could not see well, he’d spot a crumb across the table or on the floor and had to pick it up! He could barely move, but that crumb had to be picked up. I would jump up and run to get the crumb before he tried to reach or bend. The House Motto: HIGH ALERT.
To add to all the health issues, Dad had transient ischemic attacks (TIA’s) or mini-strokes during the last two years of his life. Two days before a TIA, he’d become hyperactive, reaching for anything and everything.
My dad could not go anywhere alone. If he wanted to lay down, we would walk to the bedroom, maybe do a lap around the couch, stop at the bathroom, and finally get to the bed. Then I would rush back to the kitchen to clean up.
Thinking he could rest for a half hour because he was exhausted, was only a wish. He’d get up after a few minutes, leave the walker behind and then fall after a few steps. I put a rail on the side of the bed along with an alarm. Neither stopped him. He was a man on a mission (or possessed).
I got a lot of exercise running through the house. Thank goodness it was not a large home. An observer would think I was the one with problems! If speed and luck were on my side, I got there before he fell. That was one of the many challenges. Through it all he did not complain.
Dad found peace while listening to music and playing the accordion. He was able to stay in his home with the help of professional caregivers and our family (my sisters, their spouses, nieces, nephews, my husband, and our children). Everyone came together to care for Dad. It was an honor to help him until his final exit. We honor Dad each year at the Michigan Parkinson Foundation Walk.
Read also about Linda Bauters’s Uncle Yonno.
Linda Bauters is a caregiver. She has cared for her uncle, parents, other family members, and worked as a CNA. She is the founder of errands2go, Inc., a company that runs errands and provides concierge services. Linda volunteers for and contributes to the Parkinson Foundation and Alzheimer’s Association.
Linda, what a marvelous article. Uncle Phil playing for our family gatherings is definitely one of my most cherished memories. I am so grateful that he made the CD for all of us before he became disabled. You and your sisters and the grandkids did such a wonderful job of caring for your parents as they got older. Hats off to all of you and thanks for your writing to preserve these memories. Love, Phyllis
My Uncle Phil had a repertoire of about 500 songs that he memorized. I cannot remember him using sheet music. My favorite was “Fascination”. He also made the best homemade Italian sausage. We lost an icon in our family. My mom, Uncle Phil’s sister, also struggled with Parkinson’s Disease.
Linda,
That was a beautiful story about your dad and his amazing family that pulled together to take care of him. Michigan Parkinson Foundation is grateful that God brought you into our lives and your caregiving traits continue to shine as you volunteer at our office, at our walk event and continue to keep your dad’s memory alive with Phil Gard’s Band Team at our Metro Detroit Walk. You are a true inspiration to all. Thank you for all you do!
This is a great story. Thanks for sharing and bringing back great memories.
My father was a man of faith and devoted to his family. He was a talented musician at a very young age. He was a natural and played the accordion that for some, take a lifetime of lessons and could never make music sound as he did. He took particular joy and pride in all of his 17 grandchildren. My father’s and mother’s home was warm and welcoming focused on wonderful Italian food. They both developed health issues in their later years but tried their best to stay independent. My father especially experienced the devastation of Parkinson’s. Everything he did was precise and with speed. It was so sad to see this disease take away his independence and have to rely on others for all his needs. We miss him!
That was a great article and tribute to grandpa. He was a great person. It is a testament to you, the family and his caregivers that he was able to live out his days at home. I wish he and Nanna were still here. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much Nick.
What great memories of Nanna and Grandpa this article brings back. I miss them so much! I loved listening to Grandpa play the accordion. We are so lucky to have such a great family and that they were able to stay in the comfort of their own home and get the best care possible as they grew older.
Thank you very much Maria and Teresa for your heartfelt comments☺️You were a big help, especially PaPa Phil.
This is such an amazing article and tribute to Grandpa. I can remember him sitting on the couch playing his accordion at family get-togethers, that usually included lots of delicious homemade food and coffee. Grandpa made the best Italian sausage and loved a good piece of chocolate cake! I miss those days. It was hard to see him and Nana lose their independence but it’s comforting to know they were always surrounded by so much love and family.
Gosh, I loved Nana and Papa listening to music together. Papa would be bouncing his foot perfectly to the rhythm and just have a smile on his face while Nana danced around with her walker. Thank you for writing and sharing this! A beautiful reminder of Papa’s love, strength and devotion to family.
Every time I hear the sound of an accordion all I can think of is Papa playing and Nana dancing. This was a beautiful tribute to Papa!