My Mom loved to travel. As I became older, I caught the travel bug, too. My next trip with my husband was paid in full and booked for May. We were going to see lighthouses on the Georgia coast. Two months later, Mom suffered a severe stroke, which left her entire right side paralyzed. Even though she attended physical therapy, she could not regain movement to live independently. The decision was made for her to live in a nursing home facility.
Guest Article by Lisa Hutchison
With each visit, I intended to lift her spirits. A funny thing happened, she was the one who somehow made me feel better. Mom had a positive attitude about everything. She often voiced how grateful she was to be alive despite her losses.
What made this difficult time easier was Mom focused on the present moment. She no longer worried about the future or rehashed the past, she enjoyed whatever happened right now.
The trip was approaching and I struggled with feeling guilty and anxious. How could I have a good time while my Mom sat in a wheelchair at a nursing home? What if something happened and I was away? Mom would not want me to give up a scheduled trip or feel sorry for her. I went for her and for me. I knew she was receiving good care and my siblings could visit. If something happened, I could return home early. Thinking about these options helped me move forward with my vacation plans.
My husband and I went to Georgia and were able to be in the moment as Mom taught me. I didn’t realize how much I needed time away to recharge and rejuvenate my energies until I stepped away for these four days. The past couple of months were stressful and taking a toll on me.
The first visit back to see Mom, I gave her a shirt with Georgia lighthouses on it. She loved it. She wanted to know all about my trip and eagerly asked to see pictures.
Mom was sitting in her wheelchair smiling and wearing the shirt when I visited next. She had told the nurses, “You have to get me up and dress me in that shirt because my girl is coming to see me.”
She died three months later. I brought the shirt home. It’s been seven years and I still have the shirt as a beautiful reminder to enjoy the moment and of our shared time together.
Lisa Hutchison, LMHC specializes in decreasing stress, anxiety, and depression while increasing realistic methods of self-care for those who help others. As a licensed mental health counselor, certified angel card reader and empath, she delivers therapeutic and spiritual messages with compassion. Some of her stories are featured in the Chicken Soup for the Soul books.
Thank you, Lisa! Your story and the comments are exactly what I needed to reconnect with today. I ‘know’ the importance of self-care in order to be maximum service but the day to day busy-ness seems to let me forget. Hugs and Blessings to you!
My pleasure Deb. It is easy to forget yourself when you give so much. I am glad you connected with the message you needed. Hugs and blessings to you as well.
I’m glad she could leave you with some positivity and wisdom. I take inspiration from your story & appreciate the reminder. Blessings to you.
Thank you Heather. I am grateful for all of the life lessons and gifts Mom left we with, I carry them in my heart.
Thank you for sharing this precious memory and beautiful reminder, Lisa. I agree; it is vital for caregivers to recharge and replenish. Life is an amazing adventure…
My pleasure Cindy and thanks! .
I’ve learned that you can’t get water from an empty well. When we fill ourselves back up, we can nourish others. Beautiful post.
This is true Barb and thank you!
Thank you, Barb. I often forget that.
Thanks for sharing your beautiful story. Your Mom was truly a special person. Good for you Lisa, for taking that vacation. So often we put others first and ourselves at the bottom of the list. As caregivers it is indeed so important to take some time for ourselves.
My pleasure Pamela! Mom was a special person. I am happy to share this lesson I learned and hope to inspire others to take a little time for themselves.
I think many caregivers forget a simple saying: you can’t pour from an empty vessel. And, while I’m quite sure that those we care for appreciate the need to care for ourselves. Thanks for sharing about your Mom. She sounds wonderful.
Mom was wonderful, Andrea. Travel is one way I fill my cup. Thanks for commenting.
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AHA! Problem fixed!
Thanks Brenda, I am happy to hear that!
Thank you Francey. I appreciate having these memories to share with others.
I appreciate your story. I can relate, as 1st caregiver for my mom. I have family supporting her by phone, or a quick checkin at my request. I have stress related health issues, keeping me from my duties, which comes with guilt. Although mom shares appreciation and well wishes.
Thank you Margo. It is difficult to be a caregiver. It is a little easier when you feel acknowledged and appreciated.
Thanks Joan, I appreciate your support. It would be great to connect soon.
Lisa, I love this! Great for you! I will be in contact soon. – Joan Stableford
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What a wonderful memory and blog.
Thank you Francey. I am grateful to have these memories to share with others.