For caregivers to survive, it’s important to find humor during the week. Here are three opportunities to laugh, chuckle, or if you’ve been struck down, lately, crack a smile. Now, take a five-minute caregiver respite: sit down, grab something to drink, and read these three jokes.
Proud Moms
Three older ladies are sitting around a table playing bridge while bragging about their sons.
“My Freddie,” says Margaret, “Everyone should be so lucky to have a son like my Freddie. Once a week he brings me a huge bouquet of flowers, he’s constantly taking me out to restaurants to eat. If I so much as hint that I want something, the next morning it’s on my doorstep.”
“That’s very nice about your Freddie,” says Gertrude, but when I think about the way my Sammy takes care of me, it can’t compare. Every morning as soon as I wake up, he greets me with bacon, eggs, and freshly brewed coffee. Every midday he comes over and cooks me a gourmet lunch, and every evening he brings me to his house for supper. He truly treats me like a queen.”
“WELL,” Barbara huffs, “I don’t want to make you feel bad, but wait until you hear about my Harry. Twice a week he pays someone $200 an hour just so he can lie on their couch and talk to them, and who do you think he talks about at those prices?” Barbara asks, beaming with a big smile. “I’ll tell you. ALL HE TALKS ABOUT IS ME!”
Does Google Know the Answer?
TCV: While it’s not as surprising today to watch older people navigate their way around computers and the Internet, years ago, it was rare.
“C’mon Ma you have got to try it,” I pleaded with my elderly mother. I don’t know how my mother lasted this long without using the Internet, but enough was enough! I thought.
“Okay” she replied reluctantly settling down in front of the computer and slowly putting on her reading glasses. “What do I do now?”
“I’m going to open the homepage of Google,” I explained. “OK here it is! Now, type in ANY question you want into the bar over here and you will find an answer to your question,” I confidently assured her.
My mother looked at me warily, thought for a second, and slowly began to type: How is Gertrude doing this morning?
The Speeding Ticket
TCV: Definitely a good-to-know strategy! {wink} I could have reduced my philanthropic contributions after each time I was pulled over by a California Highway Patrol officer for an impromptu “interview” ending with a request for my autograph and subsequent donation.
A female business executive is late for a meeting in a small town when she is stopped by a police officer going 65 on a street where the speed limit is 40.
“Ma’am, can I please see your license?”
“I’m sorry, officer,” she says, “it was revoked two years ago for drunk driving.”
The officer’s brow furrows and he straightens up. “Well, can I please see the registration of your car?”
She replies, “I stole the car and I killed the driver; he’s in the trunk.”
“Ma’am, DON’T MOVE, I’m calling for backup.” He mutters furiously into his mic… Five minutes later, half the squad pulls up including the Chief of Police who walks over to the woman’s window. “Ma’am, can I see your license?” he asks sternly.
“Of course, officer,” she smiles demurely and pulls out a license from her purse.
He squints warily at it. “This looks legitimate,” he mumbles. “Can I see the registration for this car?”
She pulls it out of the glove compartment and hands it to him.
“Ma’am, stay where you are!” He bangs open the trunk of the car and flinches. It is empty.
The business executive gives the first officer the finger and says accusingly, “And I’ll bet that liar told you I was speeding too!”
Slightly edited humor from http://www.greatcleanjokes.com/jokes/senior-jokes/
[TCV Update 12/2/2020: This URL has recently been giving a “This page isn’t working” response.] Here are 50 quick clean jokes to tide you over: https://bestlifeonline.com/funny-clean-jokes/
Hopefully you laughed! If not, maybe you chuckled. At the very least, hopefully you cracked a smile. C’mon, admit it.
Four Tips from the Kathi Koll Foundation on Bringing Laughter the Best Medicine to Your Life
