Why waste your time on a comprehensive geriatric assessment, when you have the Internet?
Do you really need a psychiatrist, neurologist, social worker, and speech therapist to tell you what’s going on?
If you suffer from test anxiety as I do, forget taking the Mini-Mental State Exam (MMSE)!
Naaaah, take THIS test, instead.
Shared by friend, Diana Burke, who found it on the Internet*–the go-to source of carefully curated content–this DIY Dementia Test is much better than the opinions of a team of professionals. 😉
And what’s great is, this test is private. Only you will know the results.
Think you’re wise?
Okay, get into your “wise-owl” mode.
Oh, a warning, first.
Warning: If the results are not to your liking, don’t worry, there is a cure.
Test for Dementia
The questions are spaced to allow you to focus without being tempted to peek at the correct answer. No cheating!
All right. Take a deep breath through your nose. Ho-o-old it! Now, release slowly through your mouth. Re-e-l-a-a-a-a-x. Clear your mind of mental clutter. Ready? Begin.
1. What do you put in a toaster?
Answer: ‘bread.’
If you said ‘toast’ give up now and do something else.
Try not to hurt yourself.
If you said, bread, go to Question 2.
2. Say ‘silk’ five times. Now spell ‘silk.’ What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water.
If you said ‘milk,’ don’t attempt the next question.
You may fry your last working brain cell.
However, if you said ‘water’, proceed to Question 3.
3. If a red house is made from red bricks, a blue house is made from blue bricks, a pink house is made from pink bricks, and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass.
If you said ‘green bricks,’ why are you still reading these??
If you said ‘glass,’ go on to Question 4.
4. Without using a calculator–remember, you’re on the honor system–you are a conductor for the Los Angeles Metrolink train route from Union Station to Palmdale.
At Los Angeles’ Union Station, 52 people get on the train.
In Glendale, 8 people get off the train and 2 people get on.
At Burbank’s 2nd stop (Bob Hope Airport), 2 people get off and 4 get on.
In Sun Valley, 6 people get off and no one gets on.
In Sylmar/San Fernando, 11 people get off and 2 get on.
In Newhall, 3 people get off and 1 gets on.
In Santa Clarita, 7 people get off and 5 people get on.
At Via Princessa 14 people get off and no one gets on.
At Vincent Grade/Acton 4 people get off and no one gets on.
You then arrive in Palmdale.
Without scrolling back to review, how old is the train conductor?
Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don’t you remember your own age?
It was YOU conducting the train! Go back and look!
TEST RESULTS
According to a leading Medical Journal, most of us will fail most of the questions. We may feel no better than a lizard brain–me included.
POPULAR THERAPY
However, there is a cure! A glass or two of wine or a couple bottles of beer, and soon LIFE will be worth living again. This therapy is not recommended for those who liberally self-medicate with liquids.
My results?
I started out strong. Got the first question right! I wasn’t going to be outsmarted by some test on the Internet! Then I fell right into the trap for Questions 2 and 3. Amazing how suggestable my brain is. I was afraid to try Question 4. I stepped away. When I returned I was ready. I did all the math without a calculator and at the end got the right answer. I felt so proud of myself.
I’ll bet that some of my brilliant friends with dementia will get a better test score than the rest of us.
How did you do?
