A Shower with A Pressure Washer? Oh MY!
Caregiver, Bruce Williams, serves as a model of finding fun amidst the sadness of losing his wife. It’s not his first choice to serve as a model as he loses his wife to younger-onset Alzheimer’s. She has lost her ability to speak in a manner that people can understand. While she tries to make sense of her world, her caregiver-husband’s fun antics and compassionate responses keep Ann Williams smiling and Bruce’s Facebook fans inspired.
We have a choice. We can create moments of caregiver fun or…
Caregiving is demanding. Sometimes, it’s a burden Our loved ones will feel what we feel.
What can we do?
Oftentimes, we find ourselves tired, drained, and feeling lonely. Yet, caregiving can be rewarding.
It’s up to us.
While Ann Williams cannot always remember her husband, Bruce hesitates, gulps the pain of this new reality and manages a loving response. Ann returns his affections with an infectious smile.
Knowing he’s trying to be as strong as he can through this journey with his wife, I sent a text message to Bruce, one morning. I was writing an article, He Said, She Said Gender Differences in Caregiving that included him and Ann for Homewatch CareGivers, a national in-home care company. I needed him to review a few excerpts.
Me: Are you available to talk in five minutes?
He: Can you make it 15?
I’m putting my pressure washer together.
Me: Sure 10:30ET
He: Thank you.
I thought about what he wrote, “pressure washer” as I knew he and his wife were going on a half-day road trip that day and that he has had difficulty at times making sure Ann takes a shower. I put these two thoughts together and decided to take a chance at humor. (We never know what kind of day another person is having; especially, a caregiver who already be beyond stressed out.)
Me: I sure hope you don’t plan to give Ann a blazing fast shower with that pressure washer. LOL
Once on the phone, we talk about the article and then he tells me that his wife had to come inside after freezing standing naked in the carport watching him assemble the pressure washer.
If you take his comment or even my attempt at humor seriously, it’s a sure bet that you are an overwhelmed caregiver.
Find ways to reduce your stress. Even five minutes to yourself can make all the difference. View this short three-minute video – The Five Minute Respite.
Otherwise, as the stress grows, caregiving will feel like a burden for you and your loved one. It will be harder to care.
After our call, Bruce sends me a photo of his wife holding up a towel at the receiving end of the pressure-washer nozzle.
Oh my, I think, what have I done?
I ask him to send me a picture of the pressure washer as the photo appears as though he’s aiming a machine gun.
I still smile as I write of this incident from over a month ago. Bruce and Ann Williams are having fun amidst the sadness of Alzheimer’s stealing bits and pieces of Ann. I love Ann’s playfulness and I’m not the only one. Bruce brings smiles and joy to hundreds, if not thousands of Facebook followers. Each time I talk with him I smile and even laugh.
This is absolutely true. Care giving is not an easy task, it drains one physically and mentally as well specially when one is suffering from Alzheimer’s, where they don’t even remember tiny details. But thinking of the reward, you surely get motivated to do better for your loved ones. To see a smile on their face because of you is worth all the hardships you face.
This is absolutely true. Care giving is not an easy task, it drains one physically and mentally as well specially when one is suffering from Alzheimer’s, where they don’t even remember tiny details. But thinking of the reward, you surely get motivated to do better for your loved ones. To see a smile on their face because of you is worth all the hardships you face.
Thanks, Brenda, for this excellent read. I absolutely agree that care givers need to find ways not just to lighten their own load but to bring a smile to the face of the person they are caring for. It was be hugely rewarding. Little moments of fun and humor can go a long way in relieving stress. But, it isn’t always easy. With cognitive degeneration, aggression and personality changes are only to be expected. However, every little positive moment counts.
Thank you, Angelina for taking time to share your thoughts.
Much appreciated!
Brenda