This is the kind of “dirty” humor only caregivers will appreciate. In this case, the parties include two caregivers and a person with Alzheimer’s getting ready for church. 
Caregiver, Bruce Williams, shares his comedy of cleanliness.
As an active member of both online and in-person Alzheimer’s support groups, I’ve learned that we caregivers deal with a number of everyday challenges. Some are relatively easy to deal with and, others need “thinking-out-of-the-box” solutions.
One of the most common and often complained about issues for caregivers is trying to maintain their loved ones’ personal hygiene.
Our loved ones don’t always like to take a shower.
There are times, I’d rather bathe an angry cat with extended razor-sharp claws than try to get my wife, Ann, in the shower!
She has one reason why she won’t shower.
She’s not afraid of the water as others with dementia may be. She not cold, nor is she concerned about privacy. I’ve always made sure that the water is the right temperature. As soon as she steps out, there are plenty of warm towels for her to wrap herself in.
Instead, she’s convinced she recently took a shower. It doesn’t matter if it was two days ago or even a week ago. It’s, “I just did that.”
Other than short-term memory loss, Ann comes up with some of the most amazing and funny reasons not to shower.
On one occasion, she pointed to Cleco, our Australian Labradoodle, and said, “He hasn’t showered, why should I?”
Always ready with a snappy comeback, I hit her with, “Okay then! If he showers with us, then will you?”
“Yeah” she responds with a grin.
As a result, we have one of the cleanest, sweetest-smelling canines outside the Westminster dog show.!
Cleaning Cleco, worked for a while but, she’s caught onto my tactics.
After five showers in two weeks with our labradoodle, she announced “He’s clean enough now, he doesn’t need any more showers.”
I could almost hear Cleco’s sigh of relief as he turned and ran out of the bathroom. Looking over his shoulder, he had that look that said, “Good luck Dude, she’s all yours now.”
Our last little “hygiene hijinks” took place as we were getting ready for church last Sunday morning.
Our friend Sharon and her daughter were visiting. Sharon told me she would gladly take care of showering Ann. “Great,” I said with relief as they headed upstairs. I whispered to myself, “Let the games begin.”
From downstairs, Sharon’s daughter, Elizabeth, and I overheard Ann telling Sharon that she just showered the night before. We knew she hadn’t.
I waited with anticipation to hear what wisdom Sharon might draw upon to persuade Ann to shower anyway. Instead, Ann refused. After Sharon reminded her that we were going to church, Ann replied, “God doesn’t care if I shower, why should you?”
I realize that the old, “Cleanliness is next to Godliness” sermon would be pointless. So, a quick smear of my Axe deodorant under each arm and off we went, laughing at her logical excuse.
Perhaps an extra splash of Holy Water might help?
We can only pray.
To learn more about Bruce and Ann’s adventures, visit his Facebook page at Bruce n Ann Williams.
