CONGRATULATIONS Claire Abel for being named The Caregiver’s Voice Caregiver of the Month of January, 2012!
Nominated by Claire’s sister Linda Van Kessler
Claire Abel is my sister who has been caring for our 102-year old mom for the past fifteen years in her (Claire’s) home after our dad passed away.
Claire now devotes almost all of her time to caring for Mom.
Claire Abel selflessly devotes her time (and her life) to caring for her mom.
— Family Caregiver Consultant and TCV Selection Committee Member
She decorated Mom’s bedroom, filling it with Mom’s most-treasured photos and possessions from a full life lived well.
She styles Mom’s hair and makeup and always makes sure she looks her best with clothes and jewelry.
As Mom’s mind is now starting to fail more and more, Claire has to increasingly do everything for her including caring for her bathroom needs, which is often nauseating. Yet she loves Mom unconditionally, vowing to keep her in her home as long as she possibly can.
…the love and caring have gone far beyond anything that is ever expected. Caring for a loved one for 15 years certainly goes far beyond ordinary love and caring, it’s extra-ordinary. My hats off to Claire, and a truckload of admiration too.
— TCV Selection Committee Member and Nursing Home Administrator
Although there is a lot of stress on Claire when Mom becomes agitated or forgetful or even angry or repeats the same question ten times in a row, she gathers the strength to press on with love.
I was taken by the extra TLC in decorating the bedroom with pictures and mementos. Who knows how much recognition lurks beneath the fog of a failing mind? I also appreciated how she ensures the mother has on her clothes and jewelry each day, surely not an easy task with someone who can be combative (agitated and forgetful). We should all be so lucky if we reach 102!
— Long-distance Caregiver for his Father and TCV Selection Committee Member
I know this is not an easy task. This takes a huge physical, mental, and emotional toll on Claire and has caused her to put her life on hold to make sure Mom is not alone or falls or injures herself.
Unless you witness firsthand the trials and frustrations of a caregiver for the elderly, you can never truly appreciate what they go through.
What moves me … is the constant care for the last 15 years. Each day, throughout all those years Claire has … had to do a little more each day as her mother becomes less and less able to do things for herself. If Claire starting doing this at age 50, she really hasn’t had much free time in her 50’s or 60’s. I chose her because of the length of time she has been doing this, and because Claire is getting older too and probably can’t do things she used to be able to do.
— Former Caregiver to his Father-in-law and TCV Selection Committee Member
TCV’s Caregiver of the Month Selection Committee inquired about Linda’s role in caring for her mom after her sister, Claire, was selected as a finalist. Linda explains:
Although I live about fifteen miles away, my husband and I have our own full-time business. Additionally, each day, we are hands-on with our own children’s charity. My son and daughter-in-law are expecting my first grandchild, so I try to spend more time with them. I try to see Mom as often as possible or bring her to our home for the day; however, our life circumstances are different than Claire’s, who has no children and whose husband is retired.
Linda’s nomination and explanation have both been edited. TCV Ed.
Thanks for sharing this beautiful article. In knowing you all for the past 6 years we have been so Blessed in so many way an being in your presence. God glows through your family. Thanks for sharing and Caring for your mother and keeping up with the many different hats and pictures. We do love you so very much. Love through Christ Judy
How lovely! Congratulations, Claire, you deserve it.
Bill and Arlene
Very cool and very deserved.
Blessings,
Pastor Alvin
VERY NICE and well deserved.
Pastor Phil
Hi Mrs. Claire!
Thank you for sending me this! I am so glad that Mrs. Linda nominated you. You are a wonderful caregiver to Grandma Anne and an excellent example to others of what honoring our parents looks like in its outworking. 🙂
Love, Katie
Hi Claire,
What a nice tribute and well deserved. Thank you for sharing it with us. YOU are one SPECIAL lady.
Love,
Lester and Mina
Thanks so much, Claire, for sharing this wonderful accolade which has been bestowed upon you. Just reading the article, I realize a little more about your circumstances and devotion. God has blessed you with this recognition earned by your willingness to be devoted to SOMEONE ELSE for all these years. In a sense your role has been like a parent, but in reverse. The photo Brenda took of you and Anne is indeed lovely. Jane
Happy New Year Claire. I can’t think of anyone more deserving of this award.
God Bless You,
Lynda
Dear Claire
What a beautiful article in honor of all that you do to care for your mother…….honestly I had no idea how many many things are required of you in taking care of all her needs but you have my deepest admiration! You truly are a very special woman and a wonderful daughter. My love and prayers are with you dear friend!! Peggy
Dear Claire,
CONGRATULATIONS!! on your being recognized as such a stellar example of a “Caregiver” to our mother. An award genuinely earned, You exemplify the command given in the Ten Commandments, and I trust that you also enjoy the reward, of the promise, of living long in the land that the Lord gives to you. God bless Barry & Chris
Dear Aunt Claire,
Congratulations on such a great achievement! You and Uncle Lyle both deserve caregivers of the century! I know you have had your lives put on hold and it hasn’t always been easy, but the love and time you have given your mother is priceless. We love you!
Mike
Dear Aunt Claire,
That is wonderful please remember what an amazing thing you are doing and your mother is so blessed to have you in her life. Just having our children visit that one week with you all made them realize how amazing it is. They still talk of Anne and think how wonderful she is. Brooke called me from school just last week again asking how old your mom was because they were discussing it in her class. I hope you all had a great Christmas we thought of often.
Have a great night.
Love,
Jen
Madrid Rhea Causing Calopez
WOW!..congratulations Auntie Claire..you deserve it more you and they ever know..your love for Grandma is really unconditional..I was blessed by your story..God bless and more strength to u Auntie Claire..
..
Congratulations, and well deserved.
50 years ago I remember you as a quiet, conscientious, dedicated person whom I was proud to call my cousin.
The only things that have changed are that those qualities have obviously been marvelously continued and greatly refined.
God bless you, Claire.
Love,
Larry
Claire, you and your husband are special people in the eyes of the Lord. Your reward will be great in heaven,
ALL MY love to all of you.
A friend for ever; Phil
Congratulations Claire! You are well deserving of the award and more. Glenn says he can see a faint halo above your head. It is incredible that your Mother is 102 as she is still so beautiful and elegant thanks to your loving care.
Happy New Year to all of you.
Glenn and Jane
Claire,
You are a wonderful person and I am happy that you have received this honor. Your Mother is certainly blessed to have a daughter like you. May God richly bless you and enable you to care for her until HE takes her home.
Berniece Trudeau
Proud to be your friend.
Congratulations!!
I’m sure you “earned it” with all the loving care you give your mom. God bless!
Shalom,
Paul Beverly
“And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8
Wow, Claire! Congratulations – such a nice article and wonderful pictures. I am so happy that you are being recognized for what you are doing – it is how more in our society should care for their aging parents. I know Lyle is a huge part of this, too, so our hats are off to him as well.
love, Raquel, Ty, Elena and Elisa
Hi Claire –
Thank you for the Happy New Year greetings – and for sending along this notice. Congratulations! I admire your constancy and the love that is inherent in all you do for Mom. It’s exceptional.
Love, Susan
Happy New Year! Beautiful story and so well deserved!!! Congratulations. Please give my love to the family.
Love ya
Stacy
This is lovely, Claire,
and you are very deserving.
Jerry and Tina
Claire what a wonderful way for your sister to acknowledge your love and caring for your Mom and family. Hats off to you for the wonderful life you have given Aunt Anne there in your home and in California. She is very blessed – as are you and your extended family- to have everyone clustered nearby. It must have been a great adjustment for Aunt Anne long ago when she made the move to California – but obviously – being with you and Lyle has helped add to her years. What a great legacy for all of you to have shared.
Our best to all of you and Happy New Year
Deb
Claire, You deserve all the credit and it was a nice honor to be selected.Not many daughters do what you have done. God will bless you. He already has as you have a great husband and family. Love,Tess
Congratulations to our dear Auntie Claire She won this month’s nomination for Caregiver of the Month. She truly does a great job in taking care of Ma and is a wonderful inspiration to all of us who know her. We are so thankful for her and it is because of her love and dedication towards Ma that we can say Ma looks fabulous at 102!
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Brenda Avadian
First of all, I would like to thank my sister, Linda, for nominating me for this award, which came as a complete surprise to me. It is an honor for me to have been chosen to receive the Caregiver’s Voice Award and I appreciate the kind words of the committee which led to their decision.
My Mom and I have always been close but during the last 15 years, we have developed a bond between Mother and Daughter which will live in my heart forever.
The home, love and care that I have been blessed to provide for my Mom would never have been possible if it had not been for my wonderful husband, Lyle, who invited her to ‘come and live with us’ during an extended visit January to May of 1996. At that time, she was 87 and I thought she was old then! 🙂 His invitation came as a surprise to Mom and to me since we had never discussed this possibility privately. When I asked him what made him chose this method, his reply was that he was afraid that once we started talking about it in depth, that we would ‘what if’ it to death and that we would just deal with each and every problem if and when they arose. Well, by God’s grace, no problems came! Mom is still walking 15 steps to her room on the 2nd floor, but not without protection and assistance from us. She still attends church every Sunday and is an inspiration to everyone she meets. Mom gives God all the glory for the blessings he gives her each and every day.
My husband has been retired for 9 years but has never once complained that we cannot travel. This is the life that God has chosen for us for now and we are content in knowing that we have added joy to a chapter in Mom’s life that would otherwise have been sad and empty years. The blessings to me have been multiplied by being able to enjoy her each and every day and to know that her needs are being met by me, her daughter, and not by a stranger. I pray that God will allow me to care for her in our home until He calls her Home.
My life has been enriched through this experience and I view it as a blessing and not a burden. I am doing this because I want to….not because I have to, and that makes all the difference in the world and in so doing, my life will never be the same again. Thank you, Mom, for making me a better person. I love you.
Claire Abel
Congratulations of such an inspiring award. This does not surprise us at all. You have been such a caring person as long as we have known you Happy New Year as well
Duane and Jean Ann Nicholson
Congratulations Claire,
I am impressed with your sister’s love expressed in her nomination of you. A loving sister was so important when I was a caregiver. Just to talk on the phone with my sisters gave me the courage to continue as my husband’s caretaker.
And Second, the beauty of Claire and her mom. Another key as a caregiver is to look good so everyone smiles when they see you or the one you are caring for. I smile just looking at these lovely ladies.
Happy 2012 to all caregivers and know we so appreciate each of you.
Barbara Muller (Caregiver of the Month of December 2010)
Thank you, Barbara for taking time to share these words of encouragement.
Click on The Caregiver’s Voice Caregiver of the Month of December 2010 to see Barbara Gaughen-Muller.