Kevin Sharpe, director of the Center for Body-Mind Therapy, used Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy while being a caregiver for his father. His 77-page book helps caregivers take care of themselves in order to better care for others.
While books are written about how best to care for someone else, I am Here: The Healing Journey of Caregiving is for those of us giving the care. It speaks to the heart and soul of caregiving.
As a caregiver, I read, thought about, and reread parts of I am Here while trying to digest its meaning.
Through his book, Kevin Sharpe, spoke directly to me.
I read the book twice and started feeling better about myself–calmer and better able to cope with daily life.
Below are the highlights that really helped me.
HELPFUL HIGHLIGHTS
Chapter 1 – I am here for you.
To get to one’s “inner landscape, … we only need to pause. It’s a simple thing – taking a pause.” This is hard to do. Pause and become aware of what is going on in my own mind. Listen to myself and see what is happening now. Making an effort to do this made a positive difference for me.
Sharpe writes, “There is a wordless truth … under all of this intensity of life that a caregiver slowly begins to sense. It’s wordless … because it’s a truth that is simply too big for words.” I had to think about this one. Although, my truth is likely different than yours; once we figure out our own truths, we find the strength to keep showing up.
“When will it stop? During the first eight months of my caregiver’s life, it became a mantra, repeated on some level almost constantly.” Author, Sharpe, admits this was the wrong question. He should have been asking “What’s happening now?” Only by living in the moment and learning all this moment has to offer, can we begin to heal ourselves.
Chapter 3 – I am here with you.
“When we shift into the role of witness, we soften. We open onto experience. We expand our awareness from being solely focused on ourselves to authentically being present with the person we are caring for.” When I pay attention to what’s happening now, and allow myself to feel my emotions, I am able to be quiet and let my mom have her own experience.
Chapter 5 – I am here
“It is startling how quickly, in terms of linear time, our worlds can change. In the space of 15 minutes on the morning my father passed, I stepped from one world into another.” The author calls this the in-between space. “For all of us who are caregivers, understanding how to access this in-between space is essential to our own healing journey.” I continue to work on finding my in-between space. As I get better at finding it, I feel more centered.
Sharpe’s I am Here, gives us caregivers insights into ourselves if we remain open to alternate therapies.
Kathleen Parenteau
The Caregiver’s Voice Guest Reviewer
I AM HERE serves as a gentle reminder to me that there is hope in seemingly hopeless situations. I leave this little book by my bedside, always within arms reach, and turn to it whenever I find myself flirting with despair. Kevin Sharpe’s courageous choice to share his own story in such an unaffected and vulnerable way is a real gift to all of us who are in similar situations. The words become a beacon, reminding us that we’re not alone in this suffering, that healing is possible, that hope can surprise us if we create the space. Thank you, Kevin, for opening my eyes and my heart to this possibility.
I’m beginning to see that every time I pick up Kevin Sharpe’s new book, I AM HERE, THE HEALING JOURNEY OF CAREGIVING, that I experience a little more healing. I know from Kevin’s recent workshop on the book that Chapter 2 was a good place for me to dive in this morning: “I Am Here for Me.”
In the workshop, I experienced some liberating energy when I “got it” that acceptance of the whole care giving-care receiving situation doesn’t mean I have to like it. My way of saying that is the situation fits the category of not okay. After much shedding of tears at that realization, I thought I was free to accept it.
Yet I found no such shift over the last two weeks. So as I sat with the book today, drawing on some of the meditative concepts introduced later in the book, a larger allowing the situation to not be okay opened up. I just sat in that inner place experiencing a larger compassion for myself than previously allowed. Tears and more tears.
I’m not yet to the point of fully accepting my care receiver’s situation, but that is okay. Each time, a little more healing…a little more healing…a little more healing. To quote the book’s Epilogue, it’s “what’s happening now.”
Linda, your comments will help others who are reading Sharpe’s book to heal. Thank you for sharing your experience.
I have been a caregiver and have read much on the subject and thought about it at length, but I Am Here explores the thoughts and emotions of caregiving on a more meaningful level than anything else I have come across. I wish that this little gem had been available while my mother was still alive. I know that the insights and reflections on Kevin Sharpe’s own journey of caregiving would have helped me to have more generosity of spirit — for both my mother and myself. Although I am no longer a long-term caregiver, we are all called upon from time to time to offer care and comfort to others, and I believe I Am Here will make me better and stronger in that role.
Carol, I invite you to share this review with others given the impact it has had on you. Thank you for sharing such a hearty testimonial!