Let’s say the person you are approaching is in the middle stage of Alzheimer’s. S/He has lost the ability to make sense of the world as easily as before the disease took over.
When approaching, make sure you learn what’s on his/her mind.
You can’t just bounce into the room, greet him/her jovially and expect the “Sweetie-am-I-glad-to see-you” gleam in his/her eye!
You’re more likely to get the “Who-the-hell-are-you?” glare if s/he looks at you at all.
What can you do to start off on the right foot while marching to same beat?
- Approach slowly.
Wait for the person to become aware of your presence. - Make sure your eyes meet.
You want the person to see you. - U
se the person’s name then introduce yourself and state your relationship (wife, husband, son, daughter, sister, brother, friend).
Sometimes, the person may act surprised and exclaim, “I know who you are, you’re my [relationship stated correctly]!” - Ask a simple question, initially.
WAIT for a response. Remain patient. Rephrase initial question differently if you don’t receive a response or ask another question.
- From The Caregiver’s Voice Caregiver of the Month of December, Barbara Gaughen-Muller: SMILE
Nothing lifts the heart so easily as a smile. And it’s free!
The late comedian and pianist, Victor Borge, was credited with saying (paraphrased): The shortest distance between two people is a smile.
We never know the world our loved ones are living in…
One day, about a year after my father had been living in the nursing home, I arrived to see him irritated.
Hi Mardig! We used his first name, Martin, in Armenian. How are you? He looked at me strangely, so I introduced myself. “I’m Brenda, your daughter.”
He then looked at me sternly. “You’re LATE!”
For what? I had NO IDEA!
“Are you with me or not?” he demanded.
Trying to be agreeable, I retorted, “I’m with you!” What could he be talking about?
“Well c’mon then. Let’s go!”
“Uh, okay…You lead.”Would you believe–No, you wouldn’t; how could you?–he wanted me to join him and his English Countrymen to fight the war?
And here’s the kicker: He’s Armenian! He’s never been to England!
In any case, I accompanied him right through the secure doors to the lobby where we waited for the train to take us to England. We would be waiting a LONG TIME! We’re in California!
When visiting a person with Alzheimer’s, be careful to connect first through eye-contact then learn where the person is in his/her mind so you march to the beat of the same drummer.
Brenda Avadian, MA
Caregiver for Alzheimer’s / Dementia Expert Spokesperson, Coach, and Author
How to approach a person who is showing the beginning siiign of altzheimers by being confused and getting lost ?
I want to know how to approach a person who is showing early signs of mild altzheimers disease.
Janet, thank you for writing. Your request sounds like a perfect new article topic for our Ask The Caregiver’s Voice.
If you need an answer sooner, please write to me directly at https://www.thecaregiversvoice.com/about-us/contact-us/ (scroll down on page that opens for eMail address) and we can schedule a coaching session. Otherwise, stay tuned during the next month or two for an upcoming article on your worthy question.
I am fortunate to have been selected to work in a facility where “Beautiful Brenda’s” are essential for the working minds of our residents. Each resident has a story to share as all who have lived once had. These chapters are often demonstrated by action, words, or creative expression. Each resident, as we all, have different approaches to our thought processes and experiences. We are also different in the dimensions of physical declination or substantiation of ones holistic well being. There has been no clearly written chapters on how these processes will unravel or end, but the respect and compassion of each person we encounter should stem from a mindful approach of each story one offers.
Thank you, Brenda!
Thank YOU, Johan for taking time to share your experience and insights.
Beautiful Brenda!!
What a gift you give to so many Alzheimer’s patients by recommending we step into their world quietly. I know my Mom would be pleased.
Sincerely,
Judy Prescott
Author of, SEARCHING FOR CECY: Reflections on Alzheimer’s