First there was The Horse Whisperer then The Dog Whisperer and The Ghost Whisperer. I wonder when we will see The Cat Whisperer. Oh wait, there’s Jackson Galaxy. And now, there’s a unique individual in the world of dementia—The Alzheimer’s Whisperer. Providing guilt-free quality care, this person balances life with caregiving AW… better than most of us.
The Alzheimer’s Whisperer has the unique ability to communicate with, care for, and comfort a person with Alzheimer’s while preserving her/her own well-being.
The Alzheimer’s Whisperer (AW) demonstrates five keys to caregiving:
1. Know How
The AW learns as much as possible about Alzheimer’s from organizations like the Alzheimer’s Association, the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America, Caring.com, and the National Family Caregivers Association. The AW gains wisdom by participating in support groups, educational offerings, and online chats. If time is limited (due to work or other activities), the AW reads books and informational materials in order to know what to expect.
2. Compassion
With knowledge, the AW is better able to accept the reality of a loved one’s condition. The AW exhibits greater compassion while coping with disruptive behaviors and anticipating needs.
5 KEYS to becoming The Alzheimer’s Whisperer (AW)
1. KNOW HOW
2. COMPASSION
3. COMMITTED
4. EMPATHY
5. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
3. Committed
The AW is committed to providing quality care, despite intermittent tears and joys. The AW takes advantage of the continuum of care—in-home care, adult day care, respite care, assisted living or skilled nursing care—and draws on others to help with caregiving.
The Alzheimer’s Whisperer recognizes that being a caregiver is temporary;
yet, it is a life-changing journey taken by very special people.
4. Empathy
Each day, and sometimes every hour, the AW visualizes how s/he would want to be cared for if the roles were reversed. Approaching caregiving from this perspective enables the AW to enter fully into his/her loved one’s world without loss of self. This tip alone is credited with giving caregivers a new lease on their role.
5. Unconditional Love
Building on the first four keys, the AW cares with an open heart that raises his/her own life purpose and meaning in unexpected ways. Despite the challenges, the AW is able to tap into hidden strengths.
What better gift can a caregiver give to one with Alzheimer’s (or other dementia) than the five keys of The Alzheimer’s Whisperer?
Brenda Avadian, MA
Alzheimer’s / Dementia Caregiver, Expert Spokesperson, Coach, and Author
Editor, TheCaregiversVoice monthly Newsletter and The Caregiver’s Voice Book Review
For more information: adult day care, Alzheimer’s, Alzheimer’s Whisperer, assisted living, Brenda Avadian, caregiver, caregiving, Caregiving tips, dementia, in-home care, respite, skilled nursing care, The Caregiver’s Voice Review
This my specific tip for being an Alzheimer’s Whisperer: Visualize that you are looking into the eyes and face of a puppy or your favorite mutt. Got that feeling? It’s easy to recreate, if you like dogs at all Now with YOU being in that feeling space and reltional space…then interact with the person who has dementia. You do not have to pretend they are a dog, just be as open as if you were looking at puppy face.
It might also be helpful if the person is not friendly and doglike at that moment, to ask yourself “what kind of animal are they like to day?” Perhaps they are more cagey and distant, like a cat. Or particularly toothy like a cornered possum. Or playing possum…yes possums play possum.
Getting a little distance from the expectations of human behavior might take us a long way to relating on a deeper level…or at all.
What a great idea, Carol. Thanks for sharing this. I can just see the humorous exchange that results from this practice. In a lucid moment, the care recipient might ask, “So, which animal am I, now?”
Hello, the key to the keys, at least for me, is understanding that my real, immediate, daily problem is trying to stay in and understand today. Trying to remember, to reconstruct yesterday and make it today doesn’t work. I am not who I was last year, week, or yesterday. I am increasingly fragmented in understanding who I am today; understanding and feeling comfortable with the people around me.
These five keys work best, I believe when they help me unlock today.
Richard
Dear Richard, thank YOU for your words of wisdom from the other side … as one who lives with Alzheimer’s.
People (like you) who are willing to share your journey at venues around the world help open our caregiving eyes to what it’s really like to care partner with one who has Alzheimer’s or other forms of cognitive impairing dementias.
Absolutely wonderful. I want to be a whisperer. Thank you.
Thanks for taking a moment to share, Jayne!