During these increasingly uncertain and chaotic times, we are likely living in liminal space and time. While we may be unfamiliar with the term, this pandemic has familiarized us with what it means to live in the in-between moments or at the threshold of change.
Like a river, life flows. We’ve all experienced those periods when the world continues without us while we recover from illness, injury, or other change. And the world is not waiting for COVID to go away, either.
To get on with life we need to make important decisions and then get on with living. Until then, we’ll find ourselves at the whims and fancies of a life filled with uncertainty.
Writing the words above are easy. Acting upon them is the perceived obstacle we must overcome. Our success in taking the first step (and then the next… and next) determines how well we cope emotionally and spiritually. Both affect our mental and physical health. Have you been feeling extra aches and pains lately? Have you, like me, suffered injury engaged in life?
It may be because even though we are living beings, we feel stuck in a kind of purgatory—a life in limbo, we’re fixed upon the fence, not knowing which side is better. When will it end? When can we get back to our normal lives? If we’re honest with ourselves, our lives were anything but normal before this. We were waiting… waiting for something new… something more.
Living liminal has given us space and time to look at ourselves and then to let go of those pieces that no longer fit. Beyond our agreed-upon obligations as caregivers, family members, employees, and/or members contributing to our communities, what else are we holding onto out of habit?
We may discover we need to get used to letting go of thoughts, things, emotions, routines, and even “friends,” and “family.”
The last two are in quotes because at some point in our lives, we wake and realize that life is unpredictable and shorter. For some of us, this means strengthening relationships that are mutually vested, while shedding those that are disingenuous. If there’s one silver lining of COVID, it is the gift of greater focus on those who matter in our lives.
When we encounter great change—becoming a caregiver, no longer being a caregiver, betrayal, divorce, environmental destruction (e.g., fire, flood, earthquake), we need to take time to reassess where we are going. If we jump too soon to change the trajectory of our lives, we may suffer. This is the wisdom behind the advice to wait before making a major move after a major event such as the death of one’s spouse.
Use this liminal time to take stock of your life and rebuild latent talents. I’ve been taking an hour once or twice a week to play piano and even sing, both which bring me great joy (and surprisingly, others too).
Being the optimist that I am, I feel grateful and whisper many thank yous during each day to have this space to define more clearly who I am and what I want to do going forward.
Two things have changed in the past year when I re-emerged as a single woman after nearly 42 years. One is, instead of serving in a leadership role, I’d like to collaborate in a team for another 5 to 9 years, preferably part time or on contract. (The length of time depends on how challenging, interesting, and rewarding the work is.)
The second change is to choose where I will live next. I need to travel and spend some time in different places.
