“I love your work… Yeah, right.” Disingenuous Emails

I’ve been cranky, at times.

Why?

Because of emails like this:

Hi there,

Your blog is very well-known in the Home Health Care community and I think it would be great to be able to share my content with your readers.

Here are the reasons why my guest blog post will be perfect for you…

ME: Really? You’re confident your blog will be perfect for The Caregiver’s Voice? And can you let us know how our blog is “very well-known”?  (I’m curious.)

People who work with me often give me credit for serving as the sparkplug or being the source of caffeine in the room.

Yet, I Still Let Disingenuous Emails Bother Me

Why do I let these kinds of emails bother me?

Hi Brenda,

Nice to e-meet you!🤝 My name is ___ from ___.com. I’m reaching out to ask for your help to create an article…

I was browsing The Caregiver’s Voice website and loved it; your insight could definitely help us. We would be honored if you could help us create this incredible article and be featured as one of our resources!

ME: When did we meet? I am sorry if I’ve missed all your sharing of what you love about The Caregiver’s Voice on your social media and website.

Content promoters, authors, and publishers wanting to promote their book, investment clubs wanting advice regarding healthcare and pharmaceutical stocks, app-builders and service providers wanting promotional help. Some are legitimate calls for help and I am happy to answer.

Then there are those who have no idea of what The Caregiver’s Voice. They found us via an online search. They want us to explore our synergies. They want us to publish their article or insert their product/service link into one of our already-published articles. They want us to sign up for a free 30-day offer.

Dear Brenda,

Good to be connected with you on LinkedIn.

I’d like to reach out to learn more about your work and see if there are any potential synergies.

I am extremely passionate about two things [two paragraphs about her interests]

Reply “Offer/Deal” to get 30 days full access to amazing marketing tools.

ME: Woah, what happened to exploring our synergies? You want me to sign up for your amazing tools?

Genuine Connection Requires a Mutual Investment of Time and Effort

I realize I could never run for political office. I have almost zero tolerance for disingenuous people.

Feigning friendship for personal gain is not my game.

Why would I direct my limited and valuable time to clicking on people’s websites who do not take time to connect with our work at The Caregiver’s Voice? I don’t have any desire to listen to their podcasts, view their videos, or engage in a trial membership of their newest offering.

Meaningful relationships take time to grow into mutually beneficial ones. Relationships to prosper must be mutually nurturing.

Still, I’m bothered by these kinds of emails. Writing about it helps a little. Like journaling, it’s a mode of therapeutic release.

Current and former caregivers by our very nature, care for people.

I was raised to serve… to be compassionate. It’s polite to respond to correspondence. I’m learning to hit DELETE.

Time passes quickly. We don’t have enough time to spend with the people who matter in our lives. I value quality relationships over quantity. I’d rather have a small and engaged audience rather than a large and fractionally engaged one.

Unlike these Connections

Like the stinging pain after I bumped my knee against a table leg, disingenuous outreach is nothing more than a painful waste of my time.

Subject line: “Something for you, Brenda”

ME: I’m interested. You called me by name and your subject is focused on me.

Hey Brenda,

I was super impressed by your work and wanted to reach out directly! 🙂

ME: Wow, that’s great. I love it when people are impressed. And being super-impressed means, they’ve shared The Caregiver’s Voice articles on their own social media and websites.

I wanted to ask if you feel that you might not be reaching all the people that should get their hands on your book? We help authors like you create brands around their work and reach as many people as possible, both online and offline.

ME: Well sure. I’ve written nine books with two best-selling titles. I still believe more people should read our books.

I would really love to show my plan for you.

Can I or one of my team members give you a quick call this week?

Best,

People advise: Just ignore them.

Again, it’s that tug-of-war between being polite with a reply versus realizing that in our virtual world, it must be harder to do what it takes to grow a genuine relationship.

If You Want Something, Invest Your Time First

Time is money and money is time. My time is valuable.

As an independent and nearly 100% self-funded business owner, I must allocate my precious and limited time to those who invest in genuine connections. I’ll gladly invest time and effort with some, even if they can’t return the favor, such as Time — The Greatest Gift.

To build a mutually-vested relationship, begin by investing your time. Post comments, write an excerpt, and then share on your own website and social media. When the time comes and you need something, I’ll be more likely to engage with you because I have grown aware of your support.

Caregiving requires authenticity. We are the fiduciaries of another’s well-being who entrust us with their lives.

We know what it means to build relationships based on trust.

There are no shortcuts.

Here’s a recent article that sheds light on numbers versus strong relationships: Networking Might be a Bad Thing. Instead of focusing on quantity of contacts, tech-consulting professional, Lulu Xiao, says “… we neglect to value the importance of having high-quality relationships.” She focuses on having a strong network.

After all this, I realize that I should have been reading this post from two-and-a-half years ago, more frequently. Caregivers need genuine people to do the job right.

In any case, if you’ve read this far, thank you. If you have experience, please share!