Do you muse from time to time upon your life’s purpose? Are you willing to live with uncertainty? On my birthday in August of 1994, Fortune magazine published, “Leaders Learn to Heed the Voice Within.” Writer Stratford Sherman emphasized the importance of reflection — that is, living in the question. This is difficult for most of us because we want the answer, NOW! Yet, living with uncertainty about the answer to our question keeps us open to unimagined possibilities.
Read to the end to learn why living in the question may be better for your life path, too.
Living in the Question—What’s Next?
Six months ago, I posted TIME for a CHANGE – Inspired by the Chinese New Year beginning Feb 17. After nearly 30 years of hands-on caregiving, initially and serving as a resource for professional and family caregivers, I needed to heed my own advice: Take time for self-care.
I needed a break from The Caregiver’s Voice.
In February, I took a few days off for a girls’ trip to the Virgin Islands. In March, I moved. In April, I began a period of self-reflection.
I am living in the question, “What’s next?” I remain open to the answer.
The Answer Lies in Life Reflection
Our lives reflect a diverse range of pursuits. Mine has been focused on intellectual pursuits—writing, speaking, consulting, and teaching/training. Nine books. Hundreds of custom-created speeches. About 35 courses. To support these endeavors, I have accumulated a lot of resources, notes, and books.
During my final third (or quarter) of life, these resources, tightly packed in banker’s boxes, no longer serve where I am in life. I feel burdened by these possessions. They have become clutter in my life. Instead of tossing all this history, I am reviewing, reflecting, and then letting go: scrap paper to a friend; recyclables to the recycle bin; folders and paperclips to a teacher; books to the local library; and sensitive documents to the shredder.
Slogging through Paperwork and Books
I felt embarrassed that I needed more space for my stuff after co-authoring the best-selling book, STUFFology 101: Get Your Mind Out of the Clutter.
Through February 2027, I will reduce what I own by 50%. People are fascinated by this. Why 50%? A three-bedroom apartment? Just for you? What are you giving away? I realize this is not for everyone.
I began with the hardest stuff to review—files and books. Slow progress. Once or twice a week, when I feel anxious, I walk. If it’s over 100°F outside, I enjoy a bit of alcohol to take the edge off. This is an exhausting mental and emotional life-review!
Few choose this path. Some become so overwhelmed they let everything go at once. I am guided by the S.T.U.F.F. framework in STUFFology 101. Start. Trust (yourself and the process). Understand (why you’re holding on). Focus. Finish.
Reflecting on one’s past is NOT for the faint of heart! Yet, there are benefits.
Eye-opening Benefits of Hindsight
I smile at my diverse life experiences. I beam with pride at the adventures I’ve had over a half-century of dedicated and focused effort. Two best-selling books. (Possibly a third, had I followed up with the Pocket Books editor who wanted to publish my career-development book.) Tenured professorship. Running marathons. Climbing mountains. Sky diving. World-class impact in aerospace. Trend-setting initiatives in family caregiving. Travel.
Hindsight is humbling. Since I haven’t been speaking nationally lately, people are not as eager for a copy of my books. While the books are now out of print, two boxes of assorted titles remain if you want to help me reduce my possessions.
Our memories are fallible. As I work through my life’s herstory, I was surprised to discover I remember small details differently. Brain research tells us that like a computer hard drive, we rewrite our memories each time we retell our stories.
I have some work- and volunteer-related regrets. I have worked very hard to be where I am, today. In a number of instances, I believe I have worked too hard for the results and/or the people. Instead of letting regret linger, I have learned and am practicing how and where to direct my future efforts.
Forcing myself to post content on The Caregiver’s Voice. When we are driven with passion, we are energized to accomplish much. Passion requires give and take for an exchange of energy. Lately, communication feels one-sided. The hours I invest in writing each article (no AI) are not generating the energy they once did.
Six Months Later
Yet, I’ve not had a total respite from The Caregiver’s Voice. Out of polite consideration, I have replied to 100 or more emails from those who likely missed the above-linked update, “Time for a Change”. Most emails arrive from content creators (writers, authors, publishers) and PR professionals who want to publish content on The Caregiver’s Voice. Some write to have their book, product, or service reviewed/promoted.
I appreciated emails from those who wrote that I deserved a break after nearly 30 years. Their expression of gratitude for The Caregiver’s Voice impact makes me smile. I even received tempting offers of help. Two professionals proposed creating content for The Caregiver’s Voice while I take my respite for self-care. If you’ve hired an in-home caregiver, you know that you still need to be involved, at least, initially.
I remain open to the answer to, “What’s next?” Until then, I will reflect on the last five decades of my life as I let go.
After nearly three decades of dedicating my life to caregivers for people with dementia, I know the answers to important questions take time. Like the delectable fruit ripened upon the tree, I shall remain on this branch of self-discovery and heed nature’s wisdom. Time devoted to self-reflection will yield ripened fruit — the answer to my question.
