“If we don’t laugh, we’ll cry,” say caregivers.
The SERIOUS
Years ago, at a quarterly care plan meeting in the skilled nursing facility, I gently remind management to encourage staff to respond to alarms when they go off. I also emphasize the importance of turning on the monitor when my father goes to bed. Otherwise, what purpose will the technology serve?
The FUNNY
During this same quarterly review, I ask about a new behavior—teeth grinding. My father’s been clenching his jaw and grinding his teeth with such force, I fear he will crush his own teeth. Is this possible? A member of the care plan team writes a note and assures me they’ll ask the dentist to check my father’s teeth the next time he arrives.
During a visit soon after, I see the doctor in the hall. He stops to greet me and informs me he’ll be seeing my father. Happy to learn that my father will be taken care of, I ask if I may make an additional request of him. “Instead of seeing my father semi-annually, can you please see and even clean my father’s teeth, quarterly? He has stopped brushing his teeth, and I am concerned about his recent teeth grinding.”
The doctor takes a small step back, looking puzzled. Appearing to weigh what he’s about to say, a slight smile forms upon his face. He informs me that he’d be happy to do as I request but he would lose his license.
I return his initial puzzled gaze.
He adds that he is my father’s eye doctor.
We must prioritize self-care.
We can’t laugh heartily from a depleted state of survival. Sure, there are periods in every caregiver’s life when self-care is set aside as we take care of the urgent matters before us.
However, we must take time to replenish our strength to continue the caregiving marathon.
Only then can we heartily shed tears with laughter.
See you in a less-than two weeks when we begin our new twice monthly publication schedule.
