When a loved one passes on, they will not be forgotten so long as someone remembers.
It’s been two years since my neighbor died. I sent his daughter another eMail:
Subject: Coming up on two years, Barbara…I still miss …
It will be two years and feels like forever!
I wanted to let you know; on May 5th I will be posting the following to our newly upgraded website at www.TheCaregiversVoice.com. I am sending this to you as a preview.
I sent Barbara the following: Mother’s Day Endures Amidst Grief. Please read for before reading today’s post.
Barbara had given me permission to post her letter months earlier. As I often do, I make sure there’s been no change of heart. Many of you know how much I respect your privacy; especially given the intimate nature of caregiving. You can rest assured when you say something is “off-the-record,” it really is with me!
So nice to hear from you. I hope you, Dave, and that skinny cat of yours are all doing fine. My cat is as fat as ever [BOY, she ain’t kidding! See the cat on the left? He’s our boy. See the fat cat on the right? We couldn’t even fit all of her in the viewfinder!] She is enjoying her “golden years” lounging around the house all day. As we speak, she is cuddled up next to Melissa on her bed. She really leads the life of Riley…
Yes, the two-year anniversary is coming up. The tears are fewer and farther between nowadays but there are times when I still feel such a profound sense of loss that I can hardly stand it. It’s like there is a huge whole in my heart that will never be able to be filled up. I just wish I could
- hug him one more time;
- rub his little bald head;
- make him my turkey tacos;
- or see the look on his face when I would set some dessert in front of him.
I just miss him so.
Mom will be spending a good portion of May with me. She is going to have eye surgery and I will be her caretaker. (I seem to fall into that roll, don’t I?) I’m glad to have her with me though. I don’t get up to the hill as much as I would like because it’s hard to get up there with Melissa’s school and competition cheer activities.
I call her all the time, but it’s not like going up and seeing her. I can better assess her condition and situation when I go up there. When I just call her, I don’t think I get the entire picture. She says she’s still content up there, but I don’t know. I worry about her up there by herself.
I think it is sweet of you to include my letter in your website. It will be interesting to see if others can relate to it. I cried when I re-read it. It brought back a lot of feelings.
Anyway, have a wonderful day and give my love to your family (furry and otherwise).
This Sunday, is Mother’s Day. If you are able, take the initiative to do as Barbara is doing and spend time with your mother. She’s here for only a short while. When your mom is gone, you might end up doing what I’ve done– adopt a mom to fill the void. Over the years, I’ve adopted three! Each has a special name: Mummy Sally in Florida who’s been my mom since my mother died in 1993. [Yes, the “Mummy” bit is English.] In 2005, I adopted Mama Maria who, as a dual citizen, makes her homes in both America and Mexico. In 2006, while in Mexico, I also adopted Mama Amalia who I don’t see as often but whose quiet presence remains with me.
HAPPY MOTHER’s DAY, MOMS!
Brenda Avadian, MA
Editor, The Caregiver’s Voice Blog